Archive for bartending

Elegy for CA53W-1

Posted in Bartending Stories with tags , , on February 29, 2008 by AppliedPeople
My (former) watchI’m a bartender. As such, it is my job to get every penny I can out of my customers while showing them such a good time that they hardly notice. It’s especially satisfying when the guest in question is an asshole. I’m not saying the guy last night was an asshole. I’m just saying he seemed like one. So I was having a pretty good time helping him rack up a $300 dining bill for him and his buddy.

You know those guys with the black metal Amex cards? The one with the spending limit that small countries are envious of? Well, this wasn’t one of those guys. This was the son of one of those guys. He had shaggy hair and the sort of casual arrogance that is birthright, not affectation. He also had a subtle accent that was unidentifiable due in part to his conspicuous consumption of sangria that had left his teeth blue and made slits of his eyes.

How he noticed my watch with his eyes closed is a subject for another post. He starts going on and on about how awesome it is and how he had one in 7th grade. Where did I get it, how much did I pay for it, and then: “I’ll give you fifty bucks for it.”

Now I only paid $15 + $4.95 shipping at Amazon. But I really like my watch so, naturally, I say, “gimme a hundred and it’s yours.” Long story short, he liked my watch a lot more than I did, and I can’t help but wonder as I think back to all the other Mr. Franklin’s I saw nestled in his Italian leather wallet, did I sell you short CA53W-1? Did I?

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